For those of you that haven't plummeted to the depths of depravity that is total gamer fanboi, I link you this. Valve Args Wiki.
The long and the short of it is that recently Valve have recruited a number (13) of other games into a big scary cross-game metagame of awesome and win. One of the things that you can do as a part of this metagame is collect potatoes. Potatoes served a dual function.
1) Make everyone know just how much of your life you've dumped into the ARG.
2) Speed up the Glados reboot cycle in order to get Portal 2 released a few hours early.
Suffice to say...
I won't lie, I cheated and scripted my ass off in order to get these potatoes. Had I of realised a week earlier what it was that valve was doing I might have attempted to do it legit, but unfortunately I only worked it out on the 15th, 4 days before the launch, a job/girlfriend/needing to defecate prevented me from getting all of the prerequisites needed to even begin to start my tuber hunting.
But anyway, with that done and dusted, I figured I'd do a quick bunch of quick-fire reviews for the 13 games involved, as well as the potato requisite and my eventual solution.
1...2...3... KICK IT!
Developed: Dejobaan Games, LLC Published: Dejobaan Games, LLC
A falling game similar to AAA (see below) that dynamically generates a level based on a track that you input, akin to audiosurf.
You fall, collecting points and twist (certain points require certain alignment) using the mouse only to control.
The thing that strikes me most about this game is that it immediately apologises that it's a "work in process".
Potato 1/3: Play the SED.zip mp3 and surpass 50,000 points.
I eventually got bored of this and used a hacked version of the level that turned every point into a 200+ mark. This was more me being lazy than any actual challenge of the game, and I'm sure if I'd bothered to practice I could have done it legit. Password was ugly truth which I got from the wiki.
Potato 2+3/3: Gain 100% (230,000 points) on the new song "Alive and Kicking.mp3" with Razer hardware (2) and without razer hardware (3).
I won't lie, I'm really confused about these potatoes. Essentially the same challenge twice, but if you do it with razer hardware you get a bonus? I know that ultimately the potato sack is about earning lots of money for everyone involved, but there's a difference between getting 13 games for £25, or even 14 (including portal 2) for £51, and having to buy an expensive peripheral. Whatever, did it legit the first time then DLL injected to get the Razer potato.
Overall: Overall this game is a good idea, but one I feel Audiosurf (below) did better. There's only one mode of play in this, whereas audiosurf has multiple different varieties. Really the thing that bothers me is how much of a clone this is compared to AAA (again, below). It would have been better suited to be a plugin/expansion to AAA than its own game.
Play again: Nah, got my potatoes and that's that, it's a poor mans Audiosurf.
AaAaAA!!! - A Reckless Disregard for Gravity
Developed: Dejobaan Games, LLC
Published: Dejobaan Games, LLC
The game that birthed the above. AAA (to shorten it, and ARDG might be confusing considering the ARG aspect of this post). A cool little falling game in which you collect points and pull of tricks with the mouse and keyboard, including hugging (staying close to walls) kissing (getting close to surfaces) and hit point panes. There's also rewards for certain stunts, like staying between two tight walls without grating your arse and/or face off.
Potato 1/2: Complete the <TEST> level, again, until you get a different page
I actually did this one completely legit. Sure I used the wiki for potato bin locations, but I did the grind and got the 3 maps: Flying Cars are Here, Welcome to the Descent of Fans, Something Purple etc.. And in the end only needed the first two. My reasoning was for the potato 2 I'd need practice, so it made sense to go through the legitimate methods in order to train up... not that it didn't take me around 200 attempts anyway... Password: long fall
I actually did this one completely legit. Sure I used the wiki for potato bin locations, but I did the grind and got the 3 maps: Flying Cars are Here, Welcome to the Descent of Fans, Something Purple etc.. And in the end only needed the first two. My reasoning was for the potato 2 I'd need practice, so it made sense to go through the legitimate methods in order to train up... not that it didn't take me around 200 attempts anyway... Password: long fall
Potato 2/2: In the main menu, press the bottom left button. Type in the phrase "Killing you and giving you good advice aren't mutually exclusive." (EXACTLY that, minus quotes). Beat the level that appears with 5 stars. (Guide)
Last potato I got, as in number 35 of all of them. There wasn't any way to cheat this (at least not at the time for me). Got the password from the wiki sure, but then you're on your own. I was punching my desk and swearing by the end, dying constantly. If I've got any 2 major gripes this made me realise 2 things about the game.
Last potato I got, as in number 35 of all of them. There wasn't any way to cheat this (at least not at the time for me). Got the password from the wiki sure, but then you're on your own. I was punching my desk and swearing by the end, dying constantly. If I've got any 2 major gripes this made me realise 2 things about the game.
1) its collision detection sucks. You should not instantly die when touching the side of a building, even while falling, you should bounce off or scrape down it. Number of times I died UNDERNEATH the lip of a building was ridiculous.
2) the criteria for earning some stunts (threading the needle) isn't quite set in stone. number of times I tried to earn some quick points early on and was denied was a real pain, as I'd just kill myself and start again.
Finally did it by essentially meditating myself into a state of calm on around my 2 centuries worth of attempts, and that did it fairly well. The bit at the end where it disables the parachute is quite ingenious.
Overall: Great idea, well thought out levels. Proper case of white-knuckle playing, and there's nothing like pulling off an amazing stunt. As fun as it is infuriating, and you can be sure both are likely to occur.
Play Again: Actually yeah, but not for some time. I can't afford a new keyboard after another nerd-rage.
Amnesia: The Dark Decent
More specifically, the Justine DLC.
I'd already played Amnesia in the past, as a personal hero (or at least he would be if he got his head out of the gutter...) Yahtzee gave it a sterling review.
In the original you played as Daniel. A brain damaged waif of a man that jumps at the sight of his own shadow. Your own skills are basic physics manipulation via the mouse and running like a little girl. There's no way of defending yourself in this game bar... barring doors and hiding in cupboards. What's more is that your character has a tendency to whimper when seeing many of the hulking horrors of this game, so there was many a time I was sat, in a completely black room staring at the corner while unspeakable evil walked blindly behind me, preparing for a bit of sword-arm buggery.
Suffice to say; I'm a fan.
Justine took this to a whole new level with one little mechanic.
See, horror games can be as scary and gritty as you want, but they fall down on one little fact; You can save and reload. There's no real sense of risk or horror if you die, because all you do is load from the last checkpoint. It kinda cuts the icky sticky scary of watching unspeakable horrors teabagging your corpse when you know they'll be ok after a quick click of F9.
Justine took that away. There's no saving, there's no checkpoints, but there's still goddamn monsters....
Thankfully the DLC is only about 20 minutes long, but if you want to achieve it to its 100% perfection then you're going to be biting your nails towards the end.
Potato 1: Create a profile named "Casbah"
Yes, it was that easy.
Password: troubled memories
Potato 2: In the "Justine" DLC game, save the 3 men, collect all 9 notes, the wax cylinder, and examine the statue and grave.
This is what I was talking about... The DLC was brilliant, gritty. There were so many parallels to portal but done in an intelligent and subtle manner, everything from the testing to the corpse hanging upside down at the end resembling Glados. It was a great game. However... I might have cheated my way through it.
 |
| Either kill a man, or built a tower of win. |
I completed it without saving the guys the first time around, played again trying to save them all. Did pretty well up until the third and final.
Here's the scenario: Monster beating down a (recently) locked door, guy chained up in an open cell, another door which you need to escape through across the room. Both the cell door and the exit use a wheel that needs to be turned in order to open/close. You've only got enough time to turn one wheel before the monster gets in. If you leave the guys cell door open he'll be killed by the monster.
Here's the scenario: Monster beating down a (recently) locked door, guy chained up in an open cell, another door which you need to escape through across the room. Both the cell door and the exit use a wheel that needs to be turned in order to open/close. You've only got enough time to turn one wheel before the monster gets in. If you leave the guys cell door open he'll be killed by the monster.
See the dilemma? Twice I managed to lock the police chief into safety and then took a stab to the spine. I wouldn't have minded quite so much but either the monsters hit harder or Justine just isn't as durable as Daniel. It really is one hit kills. So I disabled the monsters by renaming the folder with their details in... Yeah, it was cheap but at 20-30 minutes a pop it wasn't worth it. I'll play it through legitimately in the future.
Overall: This is what survival horror should be, masterfully executed. Get it.
Play again: 100% yes, if only to do Justine legitimately. It's the kinda of game you need to play once a year, short sweet and utterly horrifying. Reminds you what good narrative and game design really are.
I'll continue this in a part 2...
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